10 Top Myths About Strippers: Debunking Common Misconceptions

Hi there, bohemians and friends, I’ve been getting into a writing habit recently, which means more content for you! I had a lot of fun writing this post because it is so near and dear to many dancers and sex workers in the industry. Here are some of the top myths and stereotypes about exotic dancers, let’s get into it:

1.        That we are all whores, sluts, skanks, sinners, sex addicts, etc.

The number one thing that I get asked the most is this question right here ^^^^

However, when we finish working, that sexual energy tends to dissipate and doesn’t linger for long. This means that once we step out of our heels and into everyday clothes, the flirting and sexual forwardness fade away, and we return to our regular selves. Some dancers are very sexual, just as a person, but most are not. It’s just a job, and when we leave, that’s it. The myth is that strippers are hypersexualized individuals. Many in the industry are not overly interested in sex; it’s just what we sell.

To be clear, some sex workers can get paid for extras, but that doesn’t mean everyone does, especially not IN THE CLUB. The ranges for services with exotic dancers vary between the dancers and the clubs. Each person and place has boundaries for these types of services. However, I will unequivocally tell you that dancers giving out extras to every person in the club is a complete lie.

2.        That we all have plastic surgery

Even before I had plastic surgery and danced myself, I knew this wasn’t true. Most clubs are picky about who they hire; if you don’t fit a specific mold, you won’t get hired (sorry, that’s the job). This is not a profession for someone who doesn’t take pride in their appearance, but clubs have a wide range of hiring standards depending on where you go.

And no, not all dancers have plastic surgery to fit the mold. Some are genetically blessed or can hide minor flaws with makeup and clothes. This industry will start to make you question whether you should get plastic surgery or not, because it seems like it will help you make more money. It’s clear that some patrons do prefer artificially enhanced women, but that is still a PERSONAL choice that NOT ALL DANCERS want to do. (See the post on Stripping & Plastic Surgery here)

3.        We all have “Daddy Issues”

Since our industry does primarily serve men, and sometimes they are older, it’s assumed that we had some “Daddy Issues” where the dad was absent, abusive, or otherwise. This made the dancer or SWers into being around older men, or conditioned to like their attention is the undertone. This could not be further from the truth. Most dancers I know might not come from a trad fam but that doesn’t mean they have Daddy Issues. This label gets put on strippers/SWers because how else could we do this job if we didn’t have some trauma that would make us oblivious to the pitfalls of men and the industry?

Women who have issues with their fathers or other men in their lives do not necessarily work in the industry, and vice versa. Assuming we have issues with our fathers or other men to justify the actions of the patrons is gross and something that should just stop.

4.        Family Problems

This goes hand in hand with Daddy Issues. Many assume that strippers either don’t have a good relationship with their family or that they are estranged because their family found out about their work in the industry. Either way, both beliefs are usually FALSE. This is an outdated way of thinking about the industry, suggesting that your family won’t like or judge you for your job. While that does happen, I would argue that most family members, when informed, either don’t care/already knew, or are supportive. It wasn’t always like this, so it’s clear that families are becoming more accepting of the profession and stigmatizing the industry less.

5.        Suffer From Drug Addiction

This is one of the TOP MYTHS ever because everyone thinks that all strippers do drugs, drink, and party. I can tell you that I have been a sober dancer, a party dancer, and somewhere in between. I was never one to get addicted to drugs or even party that much. I rarely partied at work because…I was at work. Occasionally, I would drink too much, but that behavior all stayed at work. Drinking and partying at home doesn’t feel the same when you’re not getting paid for it, imo.

The allure of drugs and nightlife is ever-present in this industry. Coupled with the $$$$ earned each shift, this can lead to addiction, depending on the individual. Most dancers have responsibilities and avoid hard drugs regularly.

It’s easy to tell the dancers who have addictions because they stop the upkeep needed for the job and start making less money. No client wants the washed-up, addicted stripper on their lap. Most dancers don’t come in high or hungover because the club could notice and easily fire them for it. I would never party hard in the club unless I was getting paid a lot and could comfortably take the next day off. Just a few drinks and go home – seriously, you can’t do this job sustainably and be high or drunk 24/7. (Post on Tips for Staying Sober at Work)

6.        Victims of Domestic Violence

Sometimes, people assume that all strippers have some form of an abusive or controlling boyfriend, pimp, significant other, or baby daddy. This frustrating stereotype suggests that dancers, despite being independent, still depend on a man or a relationship to keep them “in check” or to take care of their finances. It’s perpetuated that without these controlling and manipulative relationships, women may find it challenging to take care of themselves. Not only is this VERY untrue, but it’s also predatory.  

7.        Single Mothers

This goes along with the controlling partner dynamic that strippers must all be single mothers with multiple baby daddies and all the drama. Just no, most dancers I knew didn’t have children because we worked night-time hours. During the day shifts, there are more dancers with children, but each scenario differs. Rarely did I see a complete, no-support “single mother” dancing regularly. Making this job work with children’s obligations and schedules is just too difficult. Also, unlike the stereotype, most women choose to be dancers (it’s not forced) and maybe don’t want kids/too young to have them. The trope of the poor, unwed teenage mothers forced to become strippers to pay their bills is an old media stereotype and could not be further from the truth.

8.        Not smart, savvy, or goal-oriented

Like any profession, especially those in the sex industry, there is a wide range of individuals who are smart and working towards various goals or aspirations. Everyone is different, but most start dancing because of a specific goal in mind. The options are endless, whether it’s getting out of debt and paying off loans or completing a degree program. The hours-to-income ratio is very favorable, allowing us to avoid the 40-hour workweek typical of traditional occupations. This leaves time to concentrate on our goals or other endeavors. Most dancers are striving for something, using the club as a means to an end. And if they are exceptionally savvy, they leverage their clients’ financial knowledge to their advantage ;)

9.        That we all look a certain way

The stereotypical stripper looks used to be bleached, blonde hair with big boobs and lots of makeup aka Anna Nicole Smith. The truth is, though, especially in recent years, the club demographic has changed, and so have the styles and looks of dancers. Of course, depending on the club and where it’s located, the types of dancers will completely vary. Some clubs only hire a particular look, others don’t care. Some parts of the country are more conservative and have stricter guidelines. You must keep up appearances in this job, but that doesn’t mean we are all a carbon copy. Some clients like a variety because they seek an out-of-the-ordinary fantasy girl.

 10.  All we care about is money $$$

While some dancers are about the bag, we as dancers are usually in the industry for a goal that the money can help with. Is that all we care about? Maybe at work, but it’s like anyone else with a sales job. The less drama, the better, and in general, friendlier strippers do earn more money and usually pay cheaper fees. (Get the 411 on House Fees here).

And no, we aren’t in it for the money; 99.9% of dancers, even seasoned pros, aren’t millionaires. Billionaire CEOs are in it for the money. If someone is dancing, it’s not because they are rich. Also, clients wouldn't keep spending money if we only cared about money and didn’t sell a service. And not all dancers have an OnlyFans or are trying to sell something else. Dancers, for the most part, leave work at the club and prefer it that way.

So there you have it — a little myth-busting magic from someone who’s been there and done that (in heels). Stripping, like any job, comes with layers, nuance, and real people behind the persona. We’re not all broken, addicted, hypersexual Barbie dolls — we’re diverse, dynamic, and often just here to work, thrive, and clock out. The next time you catch yourself making a snap judgment about a dancer, maybe pause and remember: we’re more than a stereotype. 

Love & glitter,

BW