Lap Dance Meaning

Hi again bohemians! And welcome back – this blog is dedicated to all my years working as a dancer and in the clubs. Today I’m going to talk about what we do the most – the lap dance. 

            Mostly made infamous by Hollywood it seems like almost anything can go during a lap dance. I’ve seen scenes where dancers barely touch the guy to full on climaxes. Today’s post is about the meaning behind the dance. (*Looks deeply into self*)

            Haha just kidding y’all but I will be talking about what a lap dance is and what it means mostly to those not in the industry and maybe even those thinking about getting started. 

Definition time! 

Lap Dance: a dance done nude or partially nude on the lap of a patron of the club; typically lasts one song length and costs anywhere from $20-$60 per dance. 

Okay so now that you have the basics of what the dance is – here’s where it gets tricky. So, it depends largely on the club and the dancer but they can vary on the touching scale. Some clubs do not allow touching of any kind, other clubs don’t care. Some clubs don’t care about touching but will have rules about what you can do, especially on the main floor. When giving a lap dance in VIP that might be different and we have a post about private dances HERE. 

Each dancer is different and what they do during a dance is not only what makes each dance unique but also depends on their own personal boundaries. 

Now to the juicy stuff – does a lap dance mean anything? My husband/boyfriend/girlfriend got a dance does that mean something? What about the dancers – do they feel anything during a dance?

A lap dance typically does not mean very much. On a transactional level it’s short lived 3-5 minutes and done in the presence of other people. So even if the club and dancer have loose rules it’s not like they would do anything naughty in the presence of others. It’s also a transaction so that means there is a financial boundary already set up. With both of these factors I can say that just one dance doesn’t really mean anything. It’s just $20 and a few minutes. Dancers might make it look like it means more but that’s the point. ;)

From the patron’s standpoint (bf, gf, husband etc.) that depends on their intention behind going to the club. When I take my husband there and we get dances it’s just for fun. I compare it to eating a slice of cake. It’s a great taste and makes some awesome memories but that’s about it. This is especially true with bachelor parties or people from out of town. 

Now if you’re going into the club looking for more than dances or thinking about going to VIP then a single lap dance might be an audition for a girl you like. Start with one and see if you like them. This is also the opportunity for the dancer to show off and hopefully earn a VIP sale. 

That being said, from the dancer’s standpoint a single lap dance isn’t a big deal. On an average night a dancer could give anywhere from 15-40 lap dances. So honestly, once the dance is done and we’ve moved on we have forgotten all about it. And by the end of the night unless the patron was grabby or annoying it is very likely we won’t remember hardly anything about it. We see it as $ and move on. Even those who get consecutive dances – it probably doesn’t mean anything. The goal for dancer isn’t to give a dance and go home with the patron. It’s to give a bunch of dances and maybe they will come back on another night for more fun. 

I will say sometimes there is a “chemistry” between the two people. But is it real? In the atmosphere of the club, the hustle, the outfit, the alcohol and the party, it’s hard to see the genuine person on either side. You’re probably not seeing the dancers without makeup in PJ’s hungover the next morning and vice versa. You’re only seeing a very small portion of their personality so the connection is short lived or maybe notthat real to begin with. 

Even those rare times where you might meet someone you like at the club. Typically, going out with them later it’s clear they weren’t who you thought they were in the club, like at all. In that environment there are definitely different parts of people’s personalities that come out and it might be very different from who they are outside of the club. 

The thing to remember is that lap dances are surface encounters with financial and personal boundaries. If you are giving a lap dance it is unlikely you will fall in love. And if you’re getting a lap dance that doesn’t mean you’re cheating or want to be with the one giving the dance. It’s just a few minutes of almost innocent fun. The club environment does not lend itself to genuine connections (it rarely happens) and when the club closes and everyone goes home it’s unlikely the next day they will really remember everything about a single dance. 

So, go forth and give or receive as many dances as you would like – they are absolutely a super fun time especially after a couple drinks! You can have that slice of cake and enjoy yourself – that is what the dances and club are for J

Any other questions? Leave a comment below! 

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Love & glitter, 

BW