How to Date Someone Who Strips (Without Ruining It)
Hi Bohemians — welcome back to the blog. For those who are new here, I talk about a lot of things, but this might be my most practical How-To Guide yet. I used to think I was hard to date because I was a dancer. Turns out, I wasn’t — men were just bad at dating strippers.
So, if you’re curious about how to date someone who strips (or you already are), here’s what you need to know. These are the unspoken rules and real-world realities that can make or break your relationship with a dancer.
First, Figure Out If She’s a Stripper
Sometimes, dancers aren’t upfront about what they do right away — and that’s not because they’re hiding something. It’s because they’re protecting themselves from judgment. Here are a few signs that the girl you’re seeing might work (or be considering working) in a strip club:
“Would you care if I got a job at Hooters?” — This question tests how you feel about women working in sexualized or service-based industries.
She might say she “just bartends” or “just cocktail waitresses” at a club.
She mentions she “used to dance in college” — this is often a soft way of testing your reaction.
One night she casually says she’s “at the club” — short and simple, but probably honest.
If you handle these moments well, she might finally open up to you. If not, she’ll probably disappear.
Rules for Dating a Dancer
If you’re serious about dating someone who strips, there are unwritten rules you’ll need to live by.
Never visit her club unless invited. Don’t come inside, even to pick her up — most clubs have strict boundaries and so do dancers.
Don’t get too friendly with other dancers or staff. It’s not cute, it’s suspicious.
Don’t get jealous of men at the club. If you’re going to, then don’t date a dancer.
Don’t ask what goes on at work. It’s a don’t ask, don’t tell situation for a reason.
Feed her after her shift. Whether you order food or take her out — she’s hungry, not horny.
Don’t expect sex right after work. She’s been touched, flirted with, and performing for hours. Let her decompress.
Don’t ask how much she made. It’s personal — unless you’re splitting bills, let her share that when she wants to.
Never take her money. Ever. Karma will ruin you.
Don’t check her phone or DMs. You’ll find messages that make you spiral, even if they mean nothing.
Discuss “extras” upfront. Some clubs allow private rooms or extras — know your boundaries before jealousy takes over.
Understand the lifestyle. Dancers have good nights, bad nights, and mood swings tied to both.
If she dances outside the club, make sure she shares her location for safety.
Don’t assume all dancers get naked. Some make more money talking than taking clothes off.
Don’t tell her to quit. She might vent after a bad night, but she’ll resent you if you push it.
Dating a stripper takes confidence, patience, and emotional maturity. If you can’t handle that, it’s better to walk away early.
The Men-dustry
Beyond the rules, there’s a bigger truth about this world: the strip club industry is male-run and male-funded.
That means your girlfriend is constantly surrounded by men — bartenders, managers, patrons, and security. On busy nights, men can outnumber dancers 10-to-1.
If that makes you insecure, ask yourself why.
Because to date a dancer, you need to trust her — and believe you bring something real to her life outside the club. If her job triggers jealousy or anxiety in you, it’s not the right relationship. Instead of trying to control her, work on building your own confidence and independence.
The Stigma
Life inside the club is one thing — but outside, it’s a different kind of challenge. Dating someone who strips means facing stigma, judgment, and double standards from friends, family, and society. Most people still can’t separate sex work from character. I’ve dated men who were supportive at first, but when it came time to meet family or friends, things changed. Suddenly, I wasn’t a girlfriend — I was a secret.
So partners end up lying — either about what I do or about me altogether. It’s exhausting, and it usually destroys the trust both ways. That’s why honesty and confidence matter so much. If you’re going to date a stripper, own it. Say it out loud. Support her like you would anyone else with a demanding job.
The truth is, dating a stripper isn’t for everyone, but when it works, it’s amazing. Respect, honesty, and trust are the real currency here — not jealousy or control.
Final Thoughts: Can You Really Handle Dating a Stripper?
Dating someone who strips can be messy, magnetic, and complicated — but it can also be deeply rewarding if you do it right. Support her work, stay secure in yourself, and never forget: she’s more than her job.
Have any tips, stories, or lessons learned about dating a dancer or ex-stripper? Drop them in the comments below — I’d love to hear your perspective. Let’s start a real conversation about what it actually takes to make these relationships work.
Love & glitter,
BW
